Life keeps giving me a strange and deserted feeling of emptiness.
Life keeps giving me a feeling of desperation to cling to anything remotely interesting and partially fulfilling.
Life isn't giving me satisfaction.
Life isn't giving me choices or chances I want, I'm utterly confused even in full clarity.
Here's why I leave: I want to experience something new, I want change, I don't want to live a boring life. I want to be exciting. I don't want to be stuck here.
Here's why I stay: I'm afraid to leave it all behind, all the tiny, broken, fragmented pieces. It scares the shit out of me. I'm scared of the unknown of tomorrow and years beyond. I'm scared of oblivion.
Here's what lights me up: warmth, love, the idea of being in love.
Here's what darkens my heart: the wanting of unreturned love, failure, my own cynicism that's hidden behind the charade of optimism displayed for the world to see.
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