Dreams

When we were younger we were told to follow our dreams.  We were told that there is nothing better than doing what we love.  However, when you grow older and begin to think about your future, people criticize you for following your dreams.  People tell you not to follow your dreams but to be realistic.  Who said that dreams cannot become a reality?  What happened to us?  What happened to the people who told us to follow our dreams no matter what?  What happened to those who told us to make our dreams a reality?  I'm not quite sure where those people went, but they shouldn't have left.  Dreams are what make reality bearable.  Dreams are what spark change.  Dreams are what help us make sense of the terrible and messed up world around us.  Dreams are what make the world go round.  The way I see it, you should always follow your dreams.  It doesn't matter what your dreams are and it doesn't matter what others think of them.  You should always follow your dreams and anyone who tells you otherwise isn't worth it.  You don't need any of that negativity in your life.

The Reflection

Loneliness: destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship and support. It is completely natural for people to feel alone in unfamiliar surroundings. Sometimes it's especially difficult because it seems like that feeling never really goes away. And one thing builds on top of something else and next thing you know, you have an unstable mountain of feelings that you don't know how to express. You miss your friends that are 1,500 miles away. You feel like you have no friends. You feel like you annoy the few friends you do have. You feel like the people you are friends with aren't actually your friends. Is it them or is it me? Am I the problem? What's wrong with me? Is it something I did or said? You look at the reflection in the mirror and all you see is a meek girl staring back at you. All you see is a girl who isn't skinny enough, who isn't pretty enough, who isn't cool enough, who isn't good enough. All you see is a girl who doesn't fit in. All you see is a girl who is completely lost in this world. All you see is a girl who isn't worth anyone's time.

What Doesn't Kill Us Makes Us Stronger

Remembrance. It's an important part of our daily lives. We remember those who caused us pain. We remember those who made us feel loved. We remember singing in the car with best friend. We remember when our parents tried to have "the talk" with us in middle school. We remember what our first kiss felt like. We remember who our first love was and how it felt when we were around them. We remember so much, even at a young age. I was in kindergarten when the airplanes struck the Twin Towers on September 11, 2001. Even then, I still remember the panic from everyone surrounding me. I remember the haunting pictures and disturbing videos I saw on TV. They were showed on every single channel. I remember. I also remember the day after. The day after was just as bad as the day itself but unlike the before, everyone was filled with hope. Hope that everything would be okay. I remember flying for several vacations afterwards. I remember the airport security rules becoming more and more strict. I remember having my children's scissors taken out of my Lilo and Stitch backpack and thrown away in the trashcan. I remember being so upset that I couldn't cut out my crayon creations on the plane. I also remember not understanding why they took my scissors away from me. I remember not being able to take my entire bottle of strawberry-scented bubble bath with me in my bag. Remembering is a powerful gift that humans are blessed with. While some of us may not want to remember, we all do. And as painful as some of the memories can be, we need them. They help us to be compassionate and caring and kind. They help us stand tall even when we want to shrink away. Remembering is a key to living life to the fullest. It helps us live 110% everyday. It helps us carry on even when we think we can't anymore. Remembering makes us wiser. Remembering make us stronger. Today, not only do we remember those kind people who were lost on this day, we also remember those who were brave and strong and compassionate enough to lend a helping hand during a dark time.

It All Starts and Ends With a Look

It all starts with a look. A single look that sends chills down your spine and makes you feel like you are on the world's scariest roller coaster. No words, no laughter, no sound. Just a look. A look from a pair of eyes that radiate warmth. A look from a pair of eyes that seem to stare into the depths of your soul. Just a look. Then comes the smile of a charming boy who couldn't possibly understand how charming he is. That boyish smile with that small little laugh that only comes from someone who is truly enjoying themselves. Then comes the eye roll from him when you make a corny joke or pun because he finds it funny but he also thinks it's stupid. Next thing you know, you are talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. You fill the silence with staring and giggling at each other's facial expressions. You ask meaningless questions and you repeat words because they sound funny the way he says them. And next thing you know, you have a best friend. You spend your free time together and always stop to say hello when you see each other. Always making unofficial plans to do nothing or something. And soon unspeakable feelings develop and you don't know how to react to them. You could act on them but you don't want to do anything because you are fearful. Always that small inkling of fear. This is so great and you don't to do anything to mess it up. So you don't do anything except wait. You wait it out. Then you can't take the waiting anymore and you do something so drastic and crazy that it couldn't possibly work. But it does and everything is great until something changes. You grow apart. You care, but you get bored. You get tired of seeing the same face every single day. And it all suddenly ends with that same look. That same look that makes you go weak in the knees and crushes your lungs and makes you feel like you can't breathe. Only, it doesn't make you feel that way anymore. Instead, it just makes you feel guilty because you wish you still felt that way, only you don't. The look is the same, but sadder and hurt. However, still filled with warmth. It still stares into to your soul and sends chills down your spine. It all ends with a look.

Each Second, Each Hour, Each Day

Isn't it funny how quickly life just passes us by? Each second, each hour, each day until eventually you don't realize how you got here. You just move through life to move, its mechanical almost. It feels like just yesterday your parents were tucking you into bed after reading you a bedtime story and now you have to tuck yourself into your own bed in an unfamiliar place. You try to make yourself feel comfortable, but you can't. You can't because you miss everything you used to have. You miss her smile, you miss his smell, you miss her laugh, you miss his voice. You miss everything. You miss the way you felt around them; you miss the life that you thought was once so complicated but was so much simpler than the present. You ignore the feelings just hoping that they go away. They don't. And next thing you know, you are all alone in a foreign place. You have friends, but they are all so new. You try to sleep, but the thoughts keep you up. You think about your old life like its in rewind, a never ending reel of memories. Each second, each hour, each day. The good, the bad, the indifferent. and then a single thought: isn't it funny how quickly life just passes us by? Each second, each hour, each day.

What Happened to Us?

Change. It's a side effect of living. Things happen and people change. Some people change for the better, some people change for the worse, and some people just change and whether it's for better or worse is indeterminable. Change. There is a usually a reason for change. Some people's change stems from hardship. Some people change because someone else told them they couldn't. Some people change because they want a fresh start. Some people change, like me, because someone pushed them too far and too hard. Most of the time, having a reason for change makes it easier for the person of interest and of others to comprehend and adjust. But what happens when a change happens so suddenly that it seems there is no reason? What happens when two people go from being so close to so alienated form each other so quickly? What happened? What happened to us?

The Day the Game Changed

Does anyone else find it odd that some people believe they are so entitled to act a certain way because they think there are no reprecussions? It's like some people in the world don't realize that some people still have feelings. I've recently realized though, that instead of dreading why people act a certain way, we should just not care. We should just be ourselves and not worry about what people will think about us. Instead of living a life about "what if," we should be living lives of "I can't believe I did that." We should be our amazing, talented individual selves. And one day, the people who treated us poorly and thought they were better than us will be the ones feeling the way we did. They look up at us and regret the decisions they made. They will realize that this was their biggest mistake. And we can stand there and think all of this and realize how true it is and say that it's going to happen. But when? Well, there is no better time to start than now. Today is the day that they will realize the game changed.